I thought that this would be a fun one to start with because while it can be very heated, in my mind it is more of a personal problem and for the people that read this I doubt it will really be an issue.

I’ll begin with the point of my frustration: guys. I personally hate the way that women in society are treated by “guys”. I use this word “guys” describing a particular set of the male sex. Guys are males who disrespect or abuse the sexuality of women. The difference between a guy and a boy is that a boy is ignorant and naive to the way that women should be viewed or treated. A boy has not been raised to really know or understand the difference and if he has, he is still too immature to really progress into being a man. The difference between a guy and a man is that a man understands the difference and has developed a healthy sense of respect for women and the differences between a man and a woman. A man responds to the differences between males and females in such a way that he is empowered while also empowering the female. There is not any hint of a demeaning tone but is a recognition that differences exist and God created both to work in perfect harmony together. When it comes to the sexuality of women, a man, unlike a guy or boy, is attracted to the sexuality of the woman but does not exploit it for his own pleasure or refer to it in a way that would be demeaning to the female. For the sake of this argument we’ll use the functional definitions of boy, guy, and man for girl, chick, and woman (chick isn’t an effective word but because a word equivalent is needed for guy I’ll just use chick).

Now my frustration is with Christian guys. As Christians, I believe that we are called to be men. We refer to ourselves as men of God, not boys of God or guys of God, so therefore we should carry ourselves in a manner worthy of being men of God. After all, what Christian male does not want to be regarded as a man after God’s own heart? However, I do not understand why in a Christian guy’s supposed striving towards being a man of God,  he would make such blatent mistakes that clearly set him apart from being a man by acting in ways that reflect his inward guy-ness?

To better illustrate my point of Christian guys versus Christian men here is an example:

Sitting at their house one day, just relaxing after the stress of the day, a group of Christian males are sitting around talking. In the middle of their discussion, a group of girls run by the window outside. All of the males in the room see the girls run by. The one male not in the room walks in and catches a glimpse of the girls and says, “Man I wish I would have seen them run by”.

Now, my question is, is the Christian male who said this alright to have made this comment even if it was totally a joke? To me the answer is a no. I find it extremely inappropriate to make a comment such as this. As a Christian man, I find it offensive to discuss females in such a way…regardless of what they are wearing or how attractive they are. Also, is it alright to comment on one of them? In a respectful way…maybe… but only if you are saying she is really pretty or if you genuinely think that she is beautiful. To point out a specific sexually related piece of her body and comment, or use a term such as sexy or hot when you have no relationship to her, I believe is not acting in a manner worthy of Christ. This does not show to me that Christ is alive in your life in this particular area because I do not believe that Jesus would have acted in such a manner.

As I write this, I actually think that it is not appropriate at all to comment on the girls even if you do have something nice to say unless you have a personal connection to that girl. My logic behind this is because it is simply an outward reflection of the inward reaction to the females: lust. The male who makes the comment about the female runners is displaying his more carnal nature as a guy and is not holding fast to manhood when it comes to the way that the sexuality of women should be treated. The way that I believe God made relationships to be is as a true partnership. By this I mean that no partner is higher than the other and that they have equal but different roles that when used together enable to other to be who they are to the fullest extent. In other words, the male should make the female better than she can be on her own and the female should make the male better than he can be on his own because both encourage each other to be who they really are and use the gifts that God gave them to the best of their ability. This can only come through a relationship that first develops from a strong friendship where there is mutual trust and respect and communication is open. In other words, the genuine interest and attraction should come from who the person is, not what they look like. While I do believe that looks play a large role, I do not believe that they are the focal point and that if they are things will crumble. Looks are the added bonus to the relationship. Physical attraction is simply the icing on the cake. If you eat only icing surely you will get sick quickly. This is why the sexuality of women for men should be treated with the UTMOST respect and honor and dignity.

 At this point some of you may be disagreeing because this stance on lust is very straightforward and rigid, not allowing much leeway. This is because when it comes to lust I do not believe there is any leeway.

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place…” –Ephesians 5:3-4a.

I am also reminded of an old saying that I think has influenced my thinking over the years. It goes like this…watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

To me this saying is so true with the topic at hand. I believe that if you really want to become a man of God in relation to the way that you treat woman, it starts with guarding yourself.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” –Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Because it is an abstract concept to “guard your heart” I believe that the practical way of doing this is to simply begin by guarding your thoughts and actions so that they do not turn into your habits and character. By simply not making comments about females you begin to control your words and actions which automatically begin to effect everything that proceeds them. Once your words are in check, then you are in a much better position to tackle your thought life. The thought life is the real beast in this whole situation and is far and away the hardest because it is much more difficult to control what you think. To learn more about how to control your thought life check out the following website.

http://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-temptationandovercomingsin/purelife-guardyourthoughtlife.php

Remember the things you say were thoughts first, so by learning to control your words you can your thoughts.

With all of this said, I can only assume that some people probably feel that I am taking this issue much to far. Remember, the point of this blog is for me to get my thoughts out and to allow for dialogue and discussion to occur. While I could go on much longer with this issue (and may at a later date) for now, the issue that I am most concerned about has been addressed. So what do you think about the way that the sexuality of women should be handled by Christian men?  

(Sidenote: I cannot think of anything that I would regret more in life than to let sinful actions that lead to my guyhood opposed to my manhood dictate who I become. In my estimation of my life, I truly would fail if I did not give my all to becoming the man that God desires me to be and I so desire to be as well).

(Sidenote 2: I am sorry if this does not come across as effectively as I would have liked it to. I have done this all in one sitting and it ended up being MUCH larger than I anticipated. I do not know how much of what I am thinking actually is making it through to you, the reader, and what is still in my interpretation as I read it. I hope and pray that in my failure as a blogist God will still speak to those of you who he wishes to speak to…whether now or in the future.)